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Football Jokes - Page 4
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A Sky tv reporter goes
to Lincolnshire and interviews the Grimsby and Lincoln
managers. First, he speaks to Alan Buckley, "so
Alan, what are your hopes for Grimsby in the future"
asks the reporter.
Buckley replies: "well if we can pick up a few
points here and there, hopefully we can stay in this
division".
The reporter then interviews Peter Jackson, "so
Peter, what are your hopes for Lincoln in the
future?"
Jackson replies: "we'll walk this division unbeaten
for rest of the season, promotion then we'll be in League
One. We'll win that and the Championship after that, then
we'll win the Premiership, maybe win the F.A Cup along
the way, and on to Europe.......".
The Sky reporter interrupts "Peter, don't you think
you're getting daft now?"
"Well Alan started it!" replied Jackson.
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A Scunthorpe
United fan died and went to heaven. On his arrival at the
pearly gates, he was met by St. Peter who explained that
although they loved everyone they drew the line at
Scunthorpe fans and he wasn't allowed to come in.
"That's not fair!" said the United fan and
continued to complain about his rejection. "Can't
you make an exception?".
"Ok" said St. Peter "If you can prove to
me you've done one act of bravery in your life then I
will let you in."
"But I have" said the United fan. "When
Scunthorpe played Hull City at Boothferry Park, I went on
my own and I wore my United shirt, my United hat, my
United scarf and I stood on the home terrace in the
middle of the City fans and I sang "United,
United..." as loud as I could."
St. Peter replied "Now, that was very brave and when
did you do this deed".
The United fan looked at his watch and said "Oh, it
was about two minutes ago!"
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A Hull City
fan goes into an appliance store looking for a TV. After
a few minutes, he picks one out and approaches the
salesman. "I want to buy this television," he
says.
The salesman replies, "Sorry, we don't serve Hull
City fans here."
He gets mad, leaves and goes outside, rips off his Hull
shirt and returns to the store.
"I want to buy this television." he says to
another salesman, getting the same response; "Sorry,
we don't serve Hull City fans here." He leaves
again, this time he hides the Hull City crest tattoo he
has all over his bare arms to leave no visible trace of
Hull City on his body. Upon returning to the store, he
once again approaches yet another salesman.
"Sir, I would like to purchase this television, and
I don't want any problems."
To which the salesman replies, "Sorry, we don't
serve Hull City fans."
Fed up with this, he cries, "How can you tell that I
am Hull City fan? I've taken my shirt off and hidden my
tattoo. How can you tell?"
To which the salesman replies, "Well, Sir, the
give-away is the television you are trying to buy,....its
actually a microwave!"
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Page 5
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