Boston
United's Christmas Panto
23rd December 2005
You might have noticed that it is Christmas, so The
Forgotten Imp presents the concise Boston United
Christmas Panto.
Jock and
The Ben Futcherstalk
"Jock,
there you are! Go sell one of our turkeys at market"
shouted Baron Boston Hard-up to Jock Evans.
A few hours later, Jock returned.
"Have you got our cash?" asked Baron Boston
Hard-up
"Better than that" said Jock, "I've
contracted to sell the same turkey to three different
people for one bean per sale!"
"What?" exclaimed Baron Boston Hard-up.
"Are you mad? I've got big plans for York Street,
and it ain't going to be a park unless it's a car park!
It's bad enough having these eleven turkeys running
around each Saturday!"
With that, Baron Boston Hard-up threw the magic beans out
of the window.
The next day, Jock awoke. "Wow" he screamed.
"The magic beans have turned into a Ben
Futcherstalk! I must climb it."
So Jock climbed the Ben Futcherstalk, all the way to the
top.
Eventually, he reached the summit, where he saw a castle.
He slowly entered, before spotting a golden cock and
bull.
"They will bring my fortune" thought Jock, as
he tried to grab both.
Just then, he heard a sound.
"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum. I smell the blood of a stranger in
my midst. Who goes there?" boomed a loud voice.
"It is I, Jock Evans. Who are you?"
"I'm the giant tax man, and you're nicked!"
"Oops" thought Jock, "time to run"
So the chase began, but Jock was too quick, and climbed
down the Ben Futcherstalk. Looking upwards, he was amazed
to see that the nasty tax man was still pursuing him.
"I know" thought Jock; "I'll cut the Ben
Futcherstalk down to size by axing him!"
Jock chopped down the Ben Futcherstalk, and wham, the tax
man fell to the ground.
"Phew, I've escaped" said Jock, but the tax man
was not dead, he was just resting until January 8th!
To read Lincoln City's concise panto, click here.
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